GO!

WE HAVE SWIMMERS on ice (sounds like a cheesy Ice Capades show) - I repeat WE HAVE SWIMMERS on ICE.

I finally feel like I can breathe again. My darling husband had his procedure yesterday - fortunately it was a PESA (less invasive) rather than TESE. It took a couple of tries, but they were able to retrieve enough sperm definitely for one IVF cycle and possibly (hopefully it will not be needed) for two. And in the event that the boys do not thaw well, they know that can get some more fairly easily.

He is doing well - at least he is telling me he is not having any pain today. But he is the type of man that would hide it from me, so that I did not worry.

I have been praying a lot lately, for myself and others. My first concern is for a coworker who is going through some pretty terrible medical issues, praying for her, her husband, and child as well. I pray that God will heal her and I pray that God comforts them all (physically and emotionally) during this difficult time.

This whole IF seems small when compared to her issues, but I still do pray a lot about IF and IF treatments. I pray regularly for all the women I meet on the message boards. It is funny how this IF brings people into your life that you would have never met and although you only know them from the boards, you care deeply for them because you know the pain and stress they are going through because you feel it everyday yourself.

I prayed almost non stop yesterday - well it actually started the night before yesterday. I prayed that beloved's procedure would go well, that he would not have any complications, and finally that they would be able to get sperm. All those prayers were answered - Thanks be to God. My biggest concern of course was for my husband because if they did not get sperm, I truly felt that God was answering me with regard to "Is this what I am supposed to be doing?" but did not want him to have to go through pain and suffering unnecessarily. Yesterday, the answer was yes, for right now, this is the path that we are supposed to follow (The next adoption meeting is scheduled on the same night as yougest daughter's choir concert so we cannot attend - the last meeting was also scheduled on a night that we could not attend due to school activities). I gave a prayer of "Thanks" to God for protecting my husband and for providing for us. Prayed again in the tree stand for all my blessings and gave "Praise" for all His Glory!!!

I received my IVF calendar this morning and will be truly starting in less than two weeks. Right now, I feel more excited than nervous, which surprised me because up until this point, I just felt anxious.

So now, I take my birth control pills for the next 9 days and then wait four more with no birth control pills before I stim. I don't start the heavy duty drugs (the shots) until after Christmas (which will make the holidays that much brighter). I finally feel like I can focus on other things now that I have a plan. Today - the focus is on students grades. After they are done, I will focus on the Christmas Eve service at my church. I am on the worship design and have somehow become one of the main organizers of the event. It is a pleasant but somewhat stressful distraction from IF.

But right now - in this moment - I am just enjoying that we have some positive news to share and that our hopes to have a child are still alive and well.